help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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