hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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