I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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