..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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