saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize