Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize