The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
