So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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