5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
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Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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