somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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