That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize