just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize