your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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