beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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