it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize