And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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