Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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