..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize