What did we do last night that was yellow?
where am i from again
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize