definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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