he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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