So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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