is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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