I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize