I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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