I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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