We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm at about main and main street
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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