First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize