Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I touched a dick in church today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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