he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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