This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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