It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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