So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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