This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
this hospital has no fireball
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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