6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize