What a fucking waste of an outfit
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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The beer is more important than you right now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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