Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize