we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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