you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize