The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize