yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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