it wasn't lemon gatorade
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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