He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize