Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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