wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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