why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize