The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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