I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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