my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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