I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize